So anyway Wensday night I had a goodbye party at Isobelle’s place in a little place called Runnymade. I thought Kamsack was small. Well that was untill I went to Runnymade. Population 26. We had a good night. Myself, Shelby, Isobelle (of course) Jasmine and Erica. We went for random walks, had a snowball fight, went sledding and just had a bunch of fun. The theme of the night was horror. We watch horror movies till 5 in the morning. haha. I think I’m still recovering and I can tell I’m gonna have some serious jetlag when I get home but who really cares. We also made a midnighht treck which is going to be an awesome story but I will only tell it verbally. So yes the next day was so sad saying goodbye to everyone I had met. I will miss those girls so much but thank-you foreverything and I will keep in touch

My last day in Kamsack really only invoved packing and posting boxes home. but tonght Julie and Rick made an amazing supper of Shish-la-ki and I loved it. Its so weird I will really miss Tiny’s random running up and barking and slobber and genral bigness and crazily I cant believe that I never got a picture of her. but ah well things happen. I will miss so much. From family to friends. Now I’m just reflecting and thinking about everything I’ve done and achieved.

Its hard to belive that my three months is up and that on Tuseday I will be back in Australia. I cant wait to get back and just relax. So with my bags packed and ready to go I leave with a few quotes as always. I feel that this quote summarised my whole journey. Thanks so much for reading. I have loved writing about my adventures.

KAMSACK SASKATCHEWAN WILL ALWAYS HAVE A LARGE PLACE IN MY HEART AND I WILL BE BACK

“So dont be afraid to make mistakes, to stumble and fall, because most of the time the greatest rewards come from doinf the things that scare you most. Maybe you’ll get everything you wish for, maybe you’ll get more than you have ever imagined, who knows where life will take you? the road is long but in the end the journey is the destination “

“If you want to figure out whats right for you, you need to find out whats wrong for you”

Wow its pretty much over. Yesterday I walked out of the KCI doors for the last time. I did really like that school. The last day was a good day mostly because it was the last day before winter break so naturally it was a very casual day. Art was fun making my eye stamp and printing with it. History we watched the olympic torch run off the tv in the student lounge. That was pretty sweet talking to a number of my class mates and getting contact details. Drama we played cherades the whole hour. It was fun excpet I had crappy things. I mean seriously how the hell are you meant to act out shes the man. Anyways my last lunchtime was spent getting photos and more farewells. 5th hours band was fun. Isobelle and I showed up for 2 minutes then went on a rampage through the corridoors for 20 pictures getting photos of as many aspects of KCI as we could. Soon we found Shelby and she joined in and after about 5 minutes we returned to the band room and sat had Mr Kistch bag us then ran out and took more photos, then we did return in the room with shelby as a photographer for the band for the last 20 minutes of the class. I’ll miss Band soo much. The day finished with food baking these totally awesome cookies. Then reality hit. I had to clean out locker 111. I think I was pretty much in tears here. I then had to go to the office where I spoke to the office people and thank them for everything. Then I walked out for the last time. It was so sad knowing that I would probably never walk through the halls there again. So I leave saying thank-you to everyone at KCI staff and students. Teachers in Particular, Mrs Eisner just because she was so amazing, friendly and caring. Mrs Shabatoski, for awesome conversations in History, Mrs Parnetta who without I probably would have never learned a love for cooking and genrally how to cook, Mr Kistch for being the band guy and putting up with mine and Isobelles insane and uncontrollable laughter, Mrs Burback for providing an awesome enviroment in CPT. I will miss that class soo much and finally Ms Bishop for teaching me to like doing art, dispite the fact I am still insanly hopless at it. Oh and how could I forget Mr Musqure for skiing with me and Mrs Lennie for all the amazing work in the office and helping me when I needed it. I WILL MISS KCI AND IT WILL ALWAYS BE IN MY HEART s2

Today I went to Yorkton for some shopping. Some how manageing to spend just short of $700 on maostly random crap . I’m such a girl lol. Anyway I went with Shelby and her host cousin Jane. I had a  good time. I brought my suitcase so I can now bring more stuff home, a hockey stick, finally a new iPod after my old one went to the apple cemetry, more clothes, a book, CDs, random gifts for peeps. Oh and my bargin I found which I brought without thinking about how I was going to get it home, a guitar amp for 50 bucks…. now i just need to get it home without breaking it…. should be fun…. but I now know I love Walmart. I was so overwhelmed with how massivly huge it was. You could have just that in a town and not need any other shops We finished the night by buying some Tim Hortons which is very similar to Krispy Kremes only they are everywhere in Canada. It brought back memories because the first thing I ate here was a Tim Horton’s donut.

Its so weird knowing that this time next week I will be in Regina getting ready to fly out at six on Sunday morning and that on Monday night in Canada I will be home. All I can really do is think about everything that has changed. I left Australia 3 months ago a nervous shy, and confused teenager. I know I’m coming back differnt yet I’m not sure exactly till I’m back to my familar enviroments of family life, work and Salesian. We’ll see how that goes. I know I’ll miss this place. I know because I’m still here and I already miss it and I will be back here in the near future. I also see now how everything that I’ve had to deal with has made me stronger.  I can see it.All I can really do now is reflect on just how much I’ve changed and hope its for the better.

-She looked back on her life and relised that everything in her life had made her that much stronger.”

- Winning doesnt always mean coming first. It means doing a little better than last time.

- Challenges make life interesting. Overcoing them makes it worthwhile

Ahh today I did what I came to Canada to do. Jump on two pieces of wood and go down a hill at some high speed and hold high danger!!!! Yes I went Skiing and Snowboarding and it was complelty amazing. The day started off by getting to school. How unusual. Anyways then for the first time I got on a Yellow School bus and too a trip up to Duck Mountian Ski hill. I think starting the asscent up that moutian was the most anxious I have been on this whole trip and poor Shelby had to deal with me being incredibly fustrated with the fact I couldnt see out the window because it was complelty covered with a layer of Ice and I couldnt see out or get photos as I like to do while in some form of transport. Then of course when I get there Me and Shelby are the last two on the bus. So Eventually we made our way to the Lodge where we got our numbers and then headed over to the rental hut and got my snow board I was so exited I put my boots on before I put my snow pants Those things take for freaking ever. Then Isobelle says “Hey Loz, um you might wanna put on your snow pants. Going insanly red I a cross between embarassment and annoyance I take these 5 pound boots off and throw them angrially at the floor, put my snowpants on and once again go through the ordeal of getting my boots on and collecting my board.

So heres the first half of my day. Snowboarding which prooved to be an complete and Utter failure and poor Isobelle had to put up with 2 hours of hoplessness. First off I couldnt get my foot into the bloody board until some staff guy told me that I had to pull the bottom of the pants up in order to clip in. So that was ok I just wished I had of been told that 15 minutes earlier. Isobelle then took me to a little hill whereI had a few practice goes. Coz I was completly terrrified I first went to the hill with Mr Musqure holding my hands running beside me then letting me stand and slide on my own. The I had a few goes a lone with Isobelle’s encouragement and after about 20 goes of snowplanting I fiaally got the hang of it slightly so I moved off the nothing 3 meter hill to the 50 meter Bunny Hill. Of course out of all possible ways of getting there I decide to do the hardest of keeping one foot clipped in and walking the whole way like that. Soon Kallie walks over to me and tells me how crazy I am, in a nice friendly way of course, and helped me unclip my board. Now I was determind to make it to the bottom of this hill and my stubborness was in complete fire. Because I had my board off I walked up the hill with Isobelle, Kallie and Amber. Kallie Helped me into my board. and then I wanted for Isobelle to get ready but in the end she told me to go. I made id 4 meters and made a snow plant, facefirst… Well done. Isobelle came down behind me and had to saftey wipe out to avoid hitting me… Out of all places to wipe out its the middle of the run, I eventually got up again and kept going. This time I made it 8 meters before wiping out. Backwards this time. A little more common. I got myself up again and started once more. This next time I did well I got to probably about quater of the way down when i slightly lost control and saftey wiped out to stop from hitting the thing that pulled people up the hill and no it was not a ski lift. I dont know what it was called though. I then shuffled over to the middle got up and made till the same thing happened and then I only had 4 or 5 meters till the end so I just made it to the bottom once the thing had taken the group of people up. and made it to Shelby who was waiting for me as the rest of the girls had gone numerous times again.  So I did make it down the hill after may wipe outs.

After that went and changed to skis, or Shelby, Isobelle, Amber and I did. Then we put them outside to climitise or at least thats what I think anyways. Oh by the way I had equal trouble trying to get those boots on haha. so I didnt take them off when we went in the lodge to have lunch. Very interesting lucnch break actually. The cook was Australian and from Melbourne so we had a pretty decent chat about stuff. After talking and my lunch losing most of its heat I joined our luch group of, Isobelle, Shelby, Kallie, AMber, Meagan, Carlee, Nathan, Jesse and Kelby. It was a rather entertaining experience. Many laughs and jokes.

After lunch we headed back out to the hill once getting out skis on. Unlike snowboading I got the had of skiiing quite quicky. I was shocked becuase I learned that you dont have to have poles to ski and  the ski hill doesnt rent out to school groups out of risk of people stabbing themselves. I’m not sure if I believe it as it did come from a friend but I choose for her sake not to say her name. So dont take my word on that. Anyways I was faces with a differnt failure this time. That thing that I had to avoid snowboarding I had to use to get up the hill I had to use and failed misrably at. I would grab the stupid orange ball we were ment to and would make it about 7 meters before falling off. After a bout 20 faileed attempt at this I started to simply get up and ski down from the place that I fell off at. Soon myself and Isobelle realised that It wasnt skiing that I was hopless at it was getting up the hill so I soon decided to try the larger hill as it was a T-bar pully that got you up the hill. Isobelle showed me a map and on the way Shelby had fallen over so Isobelle told me to go over to the T-bar and she would go and help Shelby. I got there and Mr Summers was there. I was scared because he does actually scare me, for no real reson its just how it is but I had a chat with him until Isobelle came over and we waited for the T-bar where Mr Musqure was helping people on. This thing scared the hell out of me. It looked so unsafe and my history with the things to pull you up wasnt good. First time I got on well only to be scared to the point of falling off on the spring back. so me and Isobelle went back to the start. Second time. The one thing we are told not to do is sit for any reason, this time I made it through the spring back. only to have a reaction of sitting and once more Isobelle and I fell off so I made it quicky to the side got up and skied back down. Mr Musqure’s lift duty had finished and he said he would go, get some skis and help me on this stupid thing and Isobelle waited for Jesse and went up with him. Anyway I nearly made it only I fell with 3 meters till the top. It was funny because this time it was Mr Musqure’s fault. so now I was up the top of this hill and the view was amazing, I wished so much you were allowed cameras on the runs. but you couldnt even though mine was in my pocket but I wasnt going to ake it out with a teacher right next to me. So I started well. I was fine in straight lines but steering would be where I would wipeout most amd each time Mr Musqure would help me up. It was funny a slope that takes most people 3-5 minutes took me 15 but I was insanly proud of myself for the day

I was so happy after walking to the rental area and coming out to Have shelby give me a hot choclate. The get on the bus once more and head back to school. I was happy I got the front seat of the bus and some pretty cool photos along road. I did have to laugh though because I ended up in a seat inbetween Ms Parnetta and Shelby but it was a good trip.

So I learned a few things today. One Winter sports arent my best friend but I do enjoy them. I saw why people love these things. I accomplished my goal of sking a snowboarding even if I dont have the pictures. I lsaw I have some amazing people to come back to when I eventually make it back here. I also finally got the view of a Canadian mountianeven though I dont have a picture it is something that will be in my memory forever. I really do love Canada.

So I hope u enjoyed reading my failure and just for Isobelle. “I’m not a beever, I’m a hampster” Love you Is.

xxLaurynn

“Life is like the rough draft of an english paper you are doing the night before it’s due. It has great parts and full of  great ideas but isnt quite put together. It’s ripped at the edges from when it was stuffed in a backpack and has many penmarks where what you wanted to say to be erased but it had been written in pen. It is also full of sentances that are worth every single mistake you could make, Great memories and stupid mistakes are just a part of it. It has some rough patches. Sometimes you really want to stop writing but you cant just because this matters just as much now as it will later on. The more you write the more you think the better this paper gets. You realise how great it is and even if you dont get an A+ you know it was worth it. The Scratched out marks are realisations of what can be better for the future and you have learned from everyone. So keep writing, because when you’re handing your paper in, you dont want it to be half done and full of things that were just ok and could be done better. When you read over it you want to say it was the best you could do.”

“She looked back and realized that everything that had happened had only made her stronger.”

“As my life flashes before my eyes I’m wondering if I will ever see another sunrise. So many wont get the chance to say goodbye, but its too late to think of the value of my life.”- Her Last Dream

“I was once afraid of people saying ‘Who does she think she is’ NOw I’m proud to say ‘this is who I am’”

So theres some yeah

Anyways I have always been quite uncomfortable around babies yet some how I now play with them, manage to look like a complete idiot while trying to entertain them and amazingly hold them without fear of dropping them. So I think I have done a good job about it. Also yesterday I went back to school after a week break. What a joy! Nott. But it is now2nd semester and I have pretty awesome classes. I start the day with Art. I do have to laugh at what I choose to get out of a math or science class, folowed by history which I am liking this semester then Drama which is full on but pretty fun, then Band class which is sooo much fun and full of laughs and face pulling just annoying because we have random pullouts to disrupt our little four person class. Then at the moment I have english to finish the day but I’m told its a little useless being there so I’m gonna try to go back into foods because I was a goal of mine to learn to cook so I gather I should continue. So yeah school life is school life though it is sad I only have a week and a half left at KCI. It has become a little home. Infact the whole of this place has. I know one day I will be comming back here. One day…. Who thought, a home on the other side of the world. I find it a little funny as my favorite movie is called a home at the end of the world.

It’s funny this trip has made me see why I love A Home at The End of the World and its all about a person finding themselves and people finding out what is truly important in life and what you you should aim for. Bobby, Jonathan and Clare make the best of the bad aspects in life and change so they make life what they want. Thats what I’ve done because I now know what I want from life and what I’m aiming for and I can see whats important in life. The last week has shown me that in thier own ways all families are disfunctional and have been taught what is really important mostly by the attitudes of those around me. In my last 2 and a half weeks I think I’m just gonna try and reaffirm and reflect all I have learnt while here.

I lease with a quote as per usual but once again I’m not going to put a reflection on it simply because I have in my own what thoughout this blog but it also reminds me a lot of the advice I was given that has played in the the back of my head the whole time I’ve been here. I am amazed at the impact.

“Forget about everyone and thier opinions, find what matters, discover your real feeling and never look back” Authour Temporarliy forgotten

xxLaurynn

As well as learning stuff about myself and gaining valuable quirks I have also done some amazaing things I would have never thought I would ever do as well as see some of the most amazing things that I never thought I’d see. I never believed that I would wake up in the morning look down the end of the street and see snow filled plains. I never though I would see a Coyote run across the road infront of me (of course when I dont have a camera). I never thought I would see deer right next to houses. I never thought that I would ever be sitting in a tiny hut fishing….On ice. I never thought I would ever go snowboarding and actually make it out umharmed or even still ride down a 20 ft hill on a peice of plastic and live to tell the tale. I never thought curling would be so hard. I never saw myself playing solos in a school band night. I I never expected myself to wear make-up to school. I never expected to walk into school and have nearly every person say hi to me before I reached my locker. I never thought I would ever experience -50 temperatures. I never thoought that in -20 tempreature I would spend 15 minutes running after a rabbit to get a photo and still not get one. I never thought that I could ever stand on ice skates. I never thought I would jump a pile of snow on a Skii-doo.  When I think about it I dont think I would have dared tryed any of this and I have no regrets. I have seen amazing sunsets, Giant snow plows 6 times my height plus so much more. Plus I still have a month to do so much.

I succeeded in one of my goals I can actually cook stuff now. I cant wait to come home and try. So I’ve changed a lot but I dont look back on any of it. my one hope is that when I return I dont fall back on what I was before coming. I hope my last year of school is successful and I dont want high insane results because given what I’ve been through the fact I made it to the end is the best I could ask for.

In regurds to what I have done this week, very little. I didnt have to go to school because it was finals and I didnt need to sit them. I got an award at school which was pretty cool and I spent time doing work for Salesian so I can try to keep on top of it. So yes very uneventful apart from the annoyence and major $$$$$ when it came to simply getting a perscription but it is one hell of a story. Along with so many more.

I will leave with a quote that I find very fitting to this blog entry however unlike normal I’m not going to put a reflection on it because I think it speaks for itself. The only thing is I dont know who wrote it.

cheers

xxLaurynn

What I’ve learned

“I’ve learned that I have a lot of comapssion for people. I’ve learned crying & admitting when you’re wrong are signs of strength not weakness. I’ve learned that love is more important that money, power or sex. I’ve learned that fogiviness heals most people but it will always heal you. I’ve learned that laughter is the most important medicine for the soul. I’ve learned you cant take life too seriously. I’ve learned that listening to what others have to say is the best theropy. I’ve learned that how people act is thier kama and how you react is theirs. I’ve learned that I’ve learned a lot but still know so very little”

(L)(L)(L)

I dont know but I think I can look at life differntly in some way and that way would have probably never came through if I never came to Canada. I can tell I’m not as bad coz I’m not writing as much. Wow, how different. Today also marks the day that my trip has only one month left. I am amazed in the changes I’ve made and I’m amazed at my attitude to the life and the world now. I mean whos to say I wont fall back when I get home? I hope to hell I dont but I have that history. I want 2010 to be amazing. It’s my last year of high school and the last year I need to put up with so much of the crap I have had to for the last 13 years.

I’m open so much to the world now. The recent event in Hati made me think so so much. I couldnt help but have a slight sense of fear I mean I am on the otherside of the world from my family and my home and well who knows if anything happned here. Well I dont know. If there is one thing that has changed its simply how I look at the world now. Its not so wonderful as it used to look but then id it wasnt for change in this world I think it would just be as chaotic as it is now.

My last month is gonna be full of fun. I will finally go skiing, I will go curling, I will hopefully ride a snowmobile and hopefully go fishing again.

So I leave with thoughts for people who have lost someone close to them recently whether in Hati or closer to home like the news of today. Rest in peace <3

One thing though is I did have the most amazing hotchoclate ever. I love these

So yeah, I think the only real exiting thing was that I brought an official hockey jersey for nearly 150 Canadian. Sad I think. I’, also gonna get a hockey stick and send it home by sea mail which will suck coz I wont get it till like June =[ Ah well who cares I’ll have a hockey stick from Canada so who cares! And thats about it I guess. Unevemtful as I said but I have put some pix with this blog so yeah. Oh and Heres my insightful ness

Everything I’m not made me everything I am-

I cant remember who said that but I was watching TV saw it and added it to my quote books. It summaries a lot about me and my past because if I didnt do so much of what I did by living in a fantasy I would have never found some things about me now, I would have never come to Canada and never realise so much of what I have now.

Miss everyone. It’s only 5 weeks now. See you all soon xx

xLaurynn

1)  I’ve made my mistakes in life, I’ve let a lot of people take advantage of me and I’ve always expected less than I deserved. But I’ve learned from my choices and even though there are some bad things I can never get back and people who can never be sorry. I know better next time and I wont settle for less than I deserve- Author Unknown

The lesson relating to this is that nothing from my past is completly my fault. Yes I made some choices and mistakes and I take the resposnibilty for it but they’re not my fault. They are no ones fault. Once more you learn from your mistakes and its never what you learn but there are always foundations on what u do and how you change. And no matter how much you screw up, you rarly deserve what happends but it’s never till you reflect that you realise this.

2) Be not the slave of your own past. Plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep and swim far, so you shall come back with self respect, with new power, and an advanced experience that shall overlook the old. -Ralph Waldo Emerson

I think this quote speaks for itself. Moving on by first going on an adventure to explore and come back anew. it’s exactly what I’m doing

3) There are moments that mark your life , moments when you realize nothing will ever be the same . And time is divided into two parts , before this and after this . -Unknown

In life there are dramtic points of change. when you enter the new half you are so upset that you have lost so much but then after a little while you start to explore and you see some of the most amazing things of you’re life and you begin to feel the emotions before that point. This year I lost the two best friends that I ever had. It killed me and for a long time i was lost and I decided I needed something. I hope that what I learn from this trip brings me that amazement.

4) Tradgities happen. What are you Gonna do? Give up? Quit? No. I realize that when your hear breaks you’ve gotta fight like hell to make sure you’re still alive because you are, and the pain you feel, thats Life. The confusion and the fear, thats there to remind you that somewhere out there, theres something better and that something is worth fighting for. Author known but currently forgotten

This quote sumaries just about everything I have realised on this trip. Last year I lost people and that broke my heart completly. I am so glad that I never gave up on fighting my emotions becasue I’m here and making so many realisations and making foundations to return with. This quote reminds me of some of the best advice I was given before leaving Australia. It was by a teacher and it was to forget everything and to come back t in one piece. I think if it wasnt for that advice I couldnt have made some of the advancements I have since being here. All I can say is Thank-ou so much for everything. I also see so many words of advice from many people. When they were said they were dismissed now they are perfect. Thanks for all the advice. I just hope now I can do it on my own. I know theres somthing I’m fighting for now. and the goal will never die.

xxLaurynn